Peter Kantorowski wanted his 98-year-old mother to move into a nursing home or live with him. She wouldn’t go; she didn’t want to leave her home of nearly 60 years. Finally, Kantorowski went to court — and served his mother with an eviction notice shortly before her 98th birthday in December.
There is a difficult transition in old age. When it becomes necessary to move on from the homestead and to a nursing facility, it can be difficult to think about, let alone follow through. In the end, it’s a difficult transition for both the elderly person and their family.
The family dynamics of transitioning an elder family member to a nursing home can make for some tricky cases, and even trickier court battles, as one recent case shows. Consider it a worst-case-scenario family feud over the situation.
In New Haven, Connecticut, a 71 year old son has been utterly unable to come to an agreement with his mother and get her to move into a nursing home. She just didn’t want to leave home. As a result, this son evicted his 98 year old mother from her “own” home. The catch: Apparently the mother had ceded ownership of the house, but retained the right to live there by using a quit claim deed.
Now the matter landed in court and she has been found competent by a judge and assigned counsel.
There are some wrinkles in this case. For example, it turns out that the son may not have seen his mother recently and is, therefore, not in a position to know her status. In fact, the mother has healthcare workers in and around the house often and can still cook for herself and regularly attends her church often. But to take the son at his word, he doesn’t want to put her on the street and simply wants to be sure that she has the care she needs.
At 98 the son’s concern isn’t much of a stretch, but this is still probably a bad way of going about it.
You can read more at the original article, here. Let the worst-cases underscore the need to do things right and to open proper communication within your own family now. Don't wait to discuss this issue with your family "later" because you may not have the ability/capacity to discuss your wishes and preferences "later."
Reference: The Columbus Dispatch (February 18, 2012) “Son gives mom, 98, an eviction notice”